Quotable #41: Wealth

quotable

“No man divulges his revenue; or, at least, which way it comes in but every one publishes his acquisitions.” — Michel de Montaigne, Essais, 1580, cited in Delphi Complete Works of Michel de Montaigne, 2016

Advertisements
Posted in Quotations | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

An Obvious Theorem

440px-John_H_Conway_2005_(cropped)

The last theorem in John H. Conway’s book, On Numbers and Games (1976), is:

Theorem 100: This is the last theorem in this book.
(The proof is obvious.)

Posted in Mathematics, Humor | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

Poem: Today I Am Despairing

This is a guest post by E.L. Sonder.

Today I am despairing,
for all the world is wearing,
on my weary, worried soul.

Perhaps I will be broken,
no matter the words spoken,
towards my fruitless goal.

If my actions are for naught,
will you still give thought
about my pointless role?

All life is fairly grim,
survival soft and slim,
for my written scroll.

Will you defend my art,
from my broken heart
and its gaping hole?

Today I am despairing,
for all the world is wearing,
on my weary, worried soul.


E.L. Sonder has been writing for a long time and now aspires to be a professional writer. He writes short stories, mainly  sci-fi, fantasy, speculative fiction and horror, and occasionally poetry. He blogs at https://sondersstories.wordpress.com

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Pun Of The Weak: A Sunny Limerick

sun

Image: NASA

There was once a curious youngling
Who stayed up all night while wondering
Why’s the Sun not present,
And where it went.
Then it dawned on him the next morning.

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | 20 Comments

A Messed-Up Unit Conversion Table

measuring-tape-t

The following are unconventional unitsof measures you won’t find in conventional textbooks. I’m not sure if they will ever be useful to you but who knows…:

  1. 1 Bell = 10 Decibells
  2. 1 Terabull = 1012 Bulls
  3. 1 Megaphone = 1012 Microphones
  4. 2 Kilomockingbirds = 2000 Mockingbirds
  5. 1 Wave = 106 Microwaves
  6. 1 Decacards = 10 Cards (SI Unit) = 52 Cards (US Measure)
  7. 1 Demijohn = 0.5 Lavatory
  8. 1 Decalogue = 5 Dialogues
  9. 1 Picoboo = 10-12 Boos
  10. 1 Centipede = 10 Millipedes
  11. 1 Paradigm = 4 Nickles
  12. 1 Paradise = 2 Dice
  13. 1 Paradox = 2 Ducks
  14. 1 Mental = 100 Centimentals
  15. 1 Decadent = 3 ⅓ Tridents
  16. 1 Gigolo = 1021 Picolos
  17. 1 Fish = 106 Microfiche
  18. 1 Megahertz = 106 Aches
  19. 1 Monogram = 2 Diagrams
  20. 1 Literhosen = 1000 cm3 of Wet Socks
  21. 1 Committee = 0 Decision
  22. 1 Terrapin = 1012 Pins
  23. 1 Semicolon = 0.5 Large Intestine
  24. 1 Fig Newton = 1 Kilogram of Falling Figs
  25. 1 C-Ration = 100 Rations
Posted in Humor | Tagged , , | 16 Comments

Retroactive Editorial Policy

editorial policy

“Let me make it clear to you
This is what we’ll never do.”

It really doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to spell:
You’ll find that many readers understand you just as well;
And once the spelling’s gone to pot, why then I rather guess
It doesn’t really matter if your syntax is a mess;
But not in my journal.

You really needn’t worry that it’s all been said before,
Since checking out the sources can be an awful bore.
And don’t be very troubled if you seem to plagiarize:
If you copy something really good, you just might win a prize;
But not in my journal. Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Poetry | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

Gleanings From The Past #40

gleanings

Lawyers

Two lawyers, when a knotty case was o’er,
Shook hands, and were as good friends as before.
“Zounds!” says the losing client, “how came you
To be such good friends, who were such foes just now?”
“Thou fool,” says one, ” we lawyers, though so keen.
Like shears, ne’er cut ourselves, but—what’s between.”

— The Lancaster Law Review, Vol. 16, 1899

Continue reading

Posted in Literature, Poetry | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments