Put Your Words Together
A judge, reprimanding a criminal, called him a scoundrel. The prisoner replied: “Sir, I am not as big a scoundrel as your Honor” — here the culprit stopped, but finally added — “takes me to be.” “Put your words closer together,” said the Judge.
— Case and Comment, Vol. 22, 1915
Epitaph to a Dog
Near this spot
Are deposited the remains of one
Who possessed beauty without vanity,
Strength without insolence,
Courage without ferocity,
And all the virtues of man without his vices.
This praise, which would be unmeaning flattery
If inscribed over human ashes,
Is but a just tribute to the memory of
Boatswain, a dog,
Who was born at Newfoundland, May, 1803,
And died at Newstead Abbey, Nov. 18, 1808.
— George Gordon Byron’s inscription on the monument of his dog, quoted in The Edinburgh Annual Register, Vol. 14, 1823
A Great Art
“There is a great art,” says Mickey Dolan, “in knowing what not to know whin yez don’t want to know it.”
— Journal of Education, Vol. 35, 1892