A Judge Who Doesn’t Like Eggs In The File, Or: Legal Writing À La Dr. Seuss

green eggs and ham.jpg

In 2007, a judge in Concord, New Hampshire demonstrated his poetic prowess after he received a hard-boiled egg in a mail from a prisoner who complained about his diet. As a kicker, he even referenced Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham.

Clarke Jay Wolfe, 61, said that he’s an Orthodox Jew and insisted that he should have a kosher diet. So, as a form of protest, he put a hard-boiled egg together with a letter in a manila envelope and sent it to U. S. District Court Judge James Muirhead.

Wolfe, who’s charged with sexual assault and awaiting trial, explained in the letter that the prison officials refuse to feed him with appropriate food so he’s suing the State Department of Corrections for $10 million in damages. He then demanded the judge to issue a preliminary injunction to oblige the prison officials to provide him food that complied with “both his spiritual and medical needs.” Also, he wrote that he cannot stomach hard-boiled eggs.

This strange mail inspired Muirhead to write the following verse that would make Dr. Seuss proud:

I do not like eggs in the file.
I do not like them in any style.
I will not take them fried or boiled.
I will not take them poached or broiled.
I will not take them soft or scrambled,
Despite an argument well-rambled.
No fan I am of the egg at hand.
Destroy that egg! Today! Today!
Today I say!
Without delay!

He then ordered to dispose of the eggs.

“We’ve told him, if you don’t like the eggs, don’t eat them,” Assistant Attorney General Andrew Livernois said. “That’s not good enough for him.”

Livernois received an egg as well.

Reference

St. Cloud Times, September 22, 2007

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About Edmark M. Law

My name Edmark M. Law. I work as a freelance writer, mainly writing about science and mathematics. I am an ardent hobbyist. I like to read, solve puzzles, play chess, make origami and play basketball. In addition, I dabble in magic, particularly card magic and other sleight-of-hand type magic. I live in Hong Kong. I blog at learnfunfacts.com. You can find me on Twitter @EdmarkLaw and Facebook. My email is edmarklaw@learnfunfacts.com
This entry was posted in Humor, Literature, Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to A Judge Who Doesn’t Like Eggs In The File, Or: Legal Writing À La Dr. Seuss

  1. Gail says:

    Wonderful! a judge with a sense of humor, and a creative protest by the complainant. Thanks for visiting me!
    ———-
    Gail Park
    Making Life an Art

    Like

  2. Reblogged this on One Day at a Time and commented:
    Dr Suess and a boiled egg…..

    Like

  3. Green eggs all around!

    Like

  4. Deb Whittam says:

    Apt – got to love a judge with a sense of humour

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Green Field says:

    Nice one 😊🔰

    Liked by 1 person

  6. 2ndhalfolife says:

    He will not eat them on a plate, his chance for choices a little late
    He will not eat them in his cell, he doesn’t like them we can tell
    but really if doesn’t like the food in jail,
    maybe then he should have made his bail…..

    Like

  7. IamJirah says:

    This is cool!! 🤣😁

    Like

  8. Parmis says:

    Amusing indeed! Though I feel for the prisoner’s predicament I concur with the judge 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. John says:

    Hahaha, fun “poem” But if he is accused for such a crime he should eat what he got. Only in the US that one can sue the state for such a thing.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 1weaver says:

    i learned a fun fact! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. anne leueen says:

    Marvellous! I really enjoyed this eggy ramble.

    Like

  12. osiokoye1999 says:

    I love this! The picture is what intrigued me, but wonderful writing.
    Awkwardfordays.com

    Like

  13. Abigail says:

    Wolfe’s circumstance makes me wonder what accommodations, if any, guards and prison officials should make for prisoners. Those who commit crimes should lose the right to certain privileges, but does that include the right to continue observing the traditions of one’s religion? Although, considering the crime of which he was convicted, I have my doubts that Wolfe devoutly followed Judaism.
    As for Judge Muirhead, I applaud his whimsical response. Judges have to act so seriously, so it must have been fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ah, the mind of the criminal!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. elisgraci says:

    This is interesting!

    Liked by 1 person

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