“Too Much Sex and Violence” and It Degenerates from Here

sax violin pun.jpg

In the 1980s, N. Sally Hass of Illinois created an interesting and groan-inducing wordplay based on degenerative puns. This is the starting point:

Why did they ban The Story of O?

Too much sex and violence.

Then it gradually degenerates:

Why did they ban Ivanhoe?

Too much Saxon violence.

Why did they ban the story of the mother who worked her fingers to the bone knitting hosiery to pay for her son’s music lessons?

Too much socks and violins.

Why did they ban the story of the thirteen drunken interior decorators who managed to hang the wrong color drapery fabric over every single window frame of a forty-two-room mansion?

Too much soaks and valances.

Why did they ban the story of the compulsive eater who sold germ-contaminated secondhand microscopes to finance his addiction?

Too much snacks and vile lenses.

Why did they ban the story of the spoiled-rotten princess who stood at her window for three days and pouted at the mobs of upper-grade serfs who were attacking the castle?

Too much sulks and villeins.

Why did they ban the story of the doctor who cured the soprano’s laryngitis by having her massage her throat with VapoRub and refrain from singing a note or speaking a word for an entire month?

Too much Vicks and silence.

Why did they ban the story of the mother fox who was so jealous and possessive of her cubs that, every time one of them went out on a date, she would surreptitiously sabotage his appearance by sneakily sticking bits of dandelion and milkweed fluff to his coat?

Too much vixen’s sly lints.

I can’t help but write my own examples:

Why did they ban the story of an eccentric orchestra-goer who likes putting anklets everywhere?

Too much socks on violins.

Why did they ban the story of an evil arcane alchemist who brews concoctions that bring bad luck?

Too much jinx and valence.

Why did they ban the show of a wit who likes to roast people left and right?

Too much schticks and insolence.

Why did they ban showing the biography of a successful politician?

Too much schmucks and indolence.

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My name Edmark M. Law. I work as a freelance writer, mainly writing about science and mathematics. I am an ardent hobbyist. I like to read, solve puzzles, play chess, make origami and play basketball. In addition, I dabble in magic, particularly card magic and other sleight-of-hand type magic. I live in Hong Kong. You can find me on Twitter` and Facebook. My email is edmarklaw@learnfunfacts.com

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