George Bernard Shaw (left) and Winston Churchill (right)
When playwright George Bernard Shaw started a new play, he invited Winston Churchill to attend the opening night. He thought of a witty message, then wired the following invitation to Churchill:
Have reserved two tickets for my first night. Come and bring a friend, if you have one.
Churchill was also a known wag so he replied in kind:
Impossible to come first night. Will come second night, if you have one.
I saw this anecdote on Jack Crossley’s Barmy Britain: Bizarre and True Stories from Across the Nation (2008). The book referenced the Reader’s Digest but I’m unable to find any source. So, take this with a grain of salt. For what it’s worth, it makes for an amusing story.