Job seekers spend a lot of time crafting a perfect CV. Well, at least, that’s the idea. Here are some of the oddest CV goofs culled from real-life examples:
“The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”
“References: None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
“I have a sold academic record.”
“My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”
“Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
“Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
“Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
“Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
“FYI, admin is not my cup of tea.”
“Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.”
“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
“I am about to enroll on a Business and Finance degree with the Open University, which I feel will prove detrimental to my future success.”
“I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”
“I am currently attended university.”
“Attended high school from September 1880 to June 1984.”
“Bachelor of engineering. Passed out in top 2 per cent.”
“Please do not call my last boss as a reference. He learned that I was romantically involved with his wife and I was fired to save the marriage. He is unlikely to give me a positive report.”
“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
“As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”
“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping.’ I have never quit a job.”
Reference
Fortune Magazine, July 21, 1997
So funny. My favorite was the one about the affair with the wife.
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Brilliant. I copied them and sent them to my daughter who is preparing a CV right about now.
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Those lines will do it every time. 🙂
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Made me smile.
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These are fabulous!
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OOh and aah over my experience. LOL
This was great
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LOL I can relate to a few of these, like not wanting to work prior to 8:45…the last 3 jobs I’ve asked them to plan my classes for afternoon…please lol
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“…I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
🤣🤣🤣
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My favorite was “Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
I understand the sentiment.
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