Livin’ ‘Till the End

George Burns in his book How to Live to Be 100 – or More (1983) has a section titled “Stay Away from Funerals, Especially Yours.” He remarked that if you look in the obituary column in the morning and your name isn’t there, “go ahead and have breakfast.” He said that if he ever looks in the obituary column […]

Read More

If You Can’t Beat Them…

Poet Lewis Morris (1833 – 1907) on one occasion bored Oscar Wilde with his ramblings regarding his woes. Morris lamented that the press boycotted his books on purpose. He also thought that he should have become a Poet Laureate after the death of Alfred Tennyson. After he enumerated several more examples of unfair treatments he […]

Read More

Puns of the Weak #2

“Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Bruce Lansky, For Better and for Worse, 1995 … Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here’s an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: Hold […]

Read More

A Comedian Enters the Court

“Of all forms of monotony, the monotony of affirmation is the worst.” — Joseph Joubert According to Marcelle Boren in Disorder in the American Courts (2016), the following conversation apparently occurred in a US court of law: Clerk: “Please repeat after me: ‘I swear by Almighty God…’” Witness: “I swear by Almighty God.” Clerk: “That the evidence […]

Read More

How Not to Get Hired: A Few Crappy Lines to Add to Your CV

Job seekers spend a lot of time crafting a perfect CV. Well, at least, that’s the idea. Here are some of the oddest CV goofs culled from real-life examples: “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.” “References: None. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.” “I have a sold […]

Read More

A Missing Hyphen Can Change Everything

Image: Imgur Well, I’m not sure whether I would laugh or cringe when I first saw this. The Pratt Tribune changed the headline of the online version to “Students get job-site training during Disability Mentoring Day.

Read More

Puns of the Weak #1

Starting this week, “Pun of the Weak” will be renamed as “Puns of the Weak”. When I was down, a friend told me, “Just look on the bright side, at least, you are not stuck in the hole underground full of water.” I know he meant well… … Disbelief — How you tell someone what […]

Read More

A Witty Exchange

  George Bernard Shaw (left) and Winston Churchill (right) When playwright George Bernard Shaw started a new play, he invited Winston Churchill to attend the opening night. He thought of a witty message, then wired the following invitation to Churchill: Have reserved two tickets for my first night. Come and bring a friend, if you […]

Read More

Being a Criminal Lawyer

Raymond Burr in Perry Mason In 1977, Michael George Cummings of Tulsa, Oklahoma was charged with purse-stealing. He refused to have a lawyer defend him at his impending trial. His reason? He said that he had watch enough episodes of Perry Mason, a US legal drama, to know how things go. Cummings was sure that […]

Read More