How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer,” and the party of the second part, […]

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Pun Of The Weak: Misers

“Misers sit and let the rest of the world go buy.” — From a graffiti I saw several years ago in Suffolk, England.

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Random Joke #10: Metric Problems

It was said that an Australian bank officer heard the following explanation from a farmer who has money problems: It all started back in 1966 when they changed pounds to dollars, me bloomin’ overdraft doubles. Then they brought in kilograms instead of pounds and me wool clip dropped by half. Then they changed rain to […]

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Pun Of The Weak: School Of Hard Knocks

School of Hard Knocks — A place where door-to-door salesmen and other types of people you don’t want knocking on your door are trained.

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Gleanings From The Past #39

Color Blind The crier employed by an auctioneer in Portsmouth, among other articles, cried white silk stockings, of all colors. — Chaplet of Comus, 1811 Precise Pronunciation A gentleman of the bar in Ireland walking one day with a friend, who was extremely precise in pronunciation, the latter hearing a person near him say curosity […]

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Random Joke #9: A Restaurant That Works Like An IT Support

Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s still there. Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re eating the soup. Try eating it with […]

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Pun Of The Weak: Stereotype

Don’t judge people who connect their computer keyboards into hi-fi systems since that would be stereotyping.  

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Pun Of The Weak: Mark Down

“My wife will buy anything marked down. Yesterday, she tried to buy an escalator.” — Joey Bishop

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Random Joke #8: Exam Result

An ill-prepared college student taking a math exam just before Christmas vacation wrote on his paper, “Only God knows the answers to these questions. Merry Christmas!” The professor graded the papers and wrote this note: “God gets 100, you get 0. Happy New Year!” — Millard Dale Baughman, Teacher’s Treasury of Stories for Every Occasion, […]

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